Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fahrenheit 451, Fundamentalist Style

You're invited this Halloween to Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, North Carolina, at 7:00 pm for a night of great preaching, singing, warm fellowship, and fried chicken with all the sides. Oh, and a good old fashioned book burning.

Slated for destruction are all the modern (i.e. post-1611) Satanic Bible translations such as the NIV, NKJV, and NASB. Also on the menu are books by popular heretics like James Dobson, John Piper, John McArthur (sic) and Mark Driskol (sic). Missing from the list are the ESV translation and books by R. C. Sproul, but I'm sure these are just oversights.

Naturally, you can't have a holy bonfire without the obligatory collection of Devil's music. The folks at AGBC will be ridding the world of vile recordings from every genre imaginable: "country, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contempory (sic) Christian, jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc." (I'm not really sure what they consider to be acceptable music, but I'm pretty sure I don't own it.)

If you want to spoil the Devil's favorite holiday this year, swing on by Amazing Grace Baptist Church. And don't forget your torch!

8 comments:

William Watson Birch said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha . . . if only it was actually funny . . . I think I'm ashamed of laughing . . . Let me go read my New Living Translation and see if I should be laughing . . .

Lee Shelton IV said...

NLT? I knew it! Heretic! ;)

Krutches to R12 said...

I am sensing some satire here! lol. Kudo's sir. You've inspired me to write a blog on halloween and the christians reaction.

Stan said...

Considering that there is only one acceptable translation (I wonder what non-English-speaking folks are supposed to do without the KJV?) and, apparently, no acceptable music, to what, do you suppose, the "Amazing Grace" in the church title refers?

The Blainemonster said...

Wow. Hahaha. Wow again. Oh my. The truth is stranger than fiction.

Dennis Thurman said...

News Flash: Name of Amazing Grace Baptist Church changed to Appallingly Legalistic Baptist Church.

Rachel R. said...

Oh, my word. Is this for real?

They couldn't find any better way to spend their time? Or even anything "better" to burn?

D.J. Cimino said...

Stan,

Those non-English people need the KJV translated into their language! Or, they can learn Englaish! That is what their (KJO peeps) response would be...

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